Have you heard of the word simp? I’ve been thinking about it lately and why it has such a negative connotation. Simp is an word used to describe a person that is openly romantic about someone they like. The overall feeling behind this word is that it’s someone who is very soft and spineless because they like someone and they express that in what appears to be a corny way. It’s used as an insult like “don’t be a simp” or “why are you simping for her” kind of thing I guess. At least that’s how I have heard it. I’ve never liked this word for so many reasons.
Dudes, boys, men - all of the above. They use it to crush other men’s feelings even more from expressing any romantic interest in another person and detach completely from any natural feeling. It’s toxic and unhealthy as we all know that men’s mental health is never taken seriously. The world tells men to be emotionless, stoic creatures and expressing feelings of love or admiration for women is weak. And that is really sad. It’s sad we have a new word to weaponize against men and degrade their feelings even more. Maybe I am taking things too seriously, but I can see the effects it has not only in normal conversation, but in the music industry and even on myself. Men are not the only ones affected by this word. Women use it against others, and while it may not have the same sting for women as it does men - mostly due to the fact that it’s socially acceptable and expected for women to express their feelings openly - I feel the impact of the word. When talking about liking someone, and a friend says don’t be a simp, the feeling I get at least is quite disheartening. The kind of feeling that makes your eyes drop lower and shoulders hunch without even realizing the change in body language. It serves to make people feel ashamed for their feelings. With how dating is commonly talked about these days, how hard it can be and how common situationships are (essentially a relationship without the official title), it’s interesting that people expressing romantic feelings about another person is looked upon so negatively. If someone’s natural reaction to getting called a simp is not shame for expressing their feelings, it’s an overbearing bravado of detachment accompanied with an expression devaluing the person’s importance in their life. Again, that sounds like behavior backed by a toxic ego. With the popularity of supporting peoples mental health these days, one might think others would start thinking critically about the words they use and how that can impact others openness to expressing feelings. Why do we keep using this word and why is it so popular? I think it’s a defense mechanism against the isolation and loneliness many younger people feel today in an age of online living (school, appointments, work). It tries to point out people and identify a flaw, point out a fault, and separate them from connecting with people to an even further degree. I don’t like this word at all. It reminds me that people are scared to feel passionate. Maybe the reason is because the person has been hurt before and bitterness to shame someone for expressing themselves. Maybe it’s for a selfish reason to call someone a simp and they’re unconsciously envious. It seems to me that it’s another tool to emotionally repress yourself and others. Because it’s certainly not being used to uplift and support friends and their feelings. The saying “misery seeks company” comes to my mind when thinking about this. Bitter and isolated people want to feel understood and unconsciously act in ways that reinforce that energy in their daily life. Having romantic feelings can threaten that friend relationship and pulls them back from further connecting with others, continuing the cyclical pattern of having isolated and lonely connections just like them. Maybe this is a stretch, an over exaggeration, and I’m completely off the mark. All of this to say, being obsessed over someone isn’t necessarily healthy. It might be fun, intense, and exciting, and everything is a balanced. Perhaps the word simp is expressing the simper doesn’t have any self-respect for their time and energy. What appears to be simping could be toxic behaviors later on, sure. Obsessiveness, possessiveness, a constant need for that person’s attention could all be unhealthy behaviors when taken to the extreme. It could seem desperate to have a crush on someone who doesn’t like you back. Is that simping? Maybe. But honestly who cares? It’s a term used to make people feel smaller and insignificant, and I do not support that. I think people should be proud they can have those feelings and feel excited about something like this. There are people in this world who do not have the emotional capacity to love others or be empathetic. It’s a privilege to love others and express that to them. I think a first step in being more empathetic and gaining more self-awareness is feeling your feelings, acknowledging them and not being defensive when someone comments negatively on feelings you have expressed. That is emotional resilience. It’s knowing that vulnerability and expressing yourself genuinely is what connects people and resonates with others. That is relatable and real. It’s easy to be influenced by people telling you you are too much. But it’s harder to tell yourself how you feel matters and that’s on validating yourself. While all of this is likely a projection of me telling myself this information, it’s a message for people who repress their feelings often. If you’re the kind of person that flies with their feelings, that’s great, love that for you. I hope you don’t feel bad if people call you a simp either. Because there is nothing wrong with being passionate or romantic or cheesy in affection for another person. We could use more of that as our world continues to be further isolated from each other every day. The evidence I can see in the music industry of this simp phenomenon lies in lyrics. I’ve heard women mostly telling the other person to worship them. The energy I get from these songs is really about caring about women as people, their desires, goals, and admiring them. If you’re going to be with someone, love and admire them and not just tolerating their presence like lukewarm milk that’s been sitting on the counter all day. It’s a desire for passion from their romantic partners. It’s saying women deserve better than simply accepting someone’s emotionless presence but stating they want someone engaging in loving them fully. Like “be loyal, be obsessed, think I’m amazing” type of energy. It’s a power reversal of patriarchy where men dominate and are prioritized. This is a reminder that when men and women say the same lyrics, the impact can feel much different between the two because of the imbalance of societal power. As far as when men use the word in lyrics, it’s the same thing as before to not get emotionally invested in someone. It could be argued that any melancholy R&B song is a simp song. But it’s just someone feeling their feelings about their situation, and that’s okay. Living life passionately is much more fulfilling and interesting than pretending to feel nothing at all. That’s really boring and plain. I say jump in even when it feels scary. The idea of living a passionless, flat life is much scarier to me than the fear of risking judgement by others. Most people are afraid to say how they really feel or do what they want to do due to the fear of being judged. Could you imagine wasting away your life out of fear for being judged by others? It’s something I cannot tolerate in my life and wish the best for everyone else on their journey to living a more fulfilled, authentic life.
I made a little playlist of songs that I feel embody the simp vibe. The first one is a lot but the others are a bit more low key and digestible. All of these are great songs overall.
I also wanted to share a couple podcast episodes I love which talk about exploring your authentic self, embracing your feelings, and being true to you. As I mentioned before, if you want to simp, do it. It’s just a word used to make people feel bad about being open and expressive about their feelings. It seems like as long as you maintain your boundaries on what you are okay with, it shouldn’t be a problem. Ri Turner literally makes the best podcast on this planet. I never listen to episodes on repeat but hers are truly something to cherish. I can’t believe she only makes like one per month but truly, this wellness podcast is a gem and my absolute favorite. Her calming voice and authentic self shine brightly in all of her work. I just discovered the next podcast this morning called Psychology of your 20s. While it may be geared towards a younger audience, I think anybody can find value in her words. They resonate beautifully. She even mentions Brene Brown in this episode (iykyk). The last podcast is one I have been listening to for over a year. The two gals are funny and balance lighthearted humor with in-depth reflective conversations quite well. I appreciate them and all that they do.
That’s it. I’m done. The only thing left to say is embarrassment isn’t real when you act from an authentic place in life. If you simp genuinely and not on some fake behavior with ulterior motives, you’re good. You can’t be embarrassed and any power of judgement it seems people have over you dissolves. Okay bye thanks luv u
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Author
A 20 something passionate about many facets of music: lyricism, melody, visual interpretations, the good stuff Categories
All
Archives
June 2022
|