I had a lot written out for this post, but I will say this, I reached so many low points this year - cried over something newly terrible every month that broke my heart, caused me severe anxiety, made me depressed. I tolerated too much and said we could get through it. But it was imagination of what we could be instead of what we were.
For now, I know I tried my best to support someone and in the process tolerated so much unkind behavior until I had nothing left to give. I now know what it feels like to give someone energy who takes but doesn't return it. Unfortunate lesson to learn, but I don't regret the love I showed. That is never a waste. I can't do anything for someone who won't make the effort to help themselves (meaning seeking help they need, accepting help, stating needs, learning triggers, communicating them, etc). My experience thus far has shown me it's hard to have a good relationship without it. Avoiding your internal climate only hurts yourself for longer and it hurts the people who care around you because they just want to understand.
As a Communications major, coming from a leader & facilitator of a college mental health club for years, someone who currently goes to therapy, and is a cancer, I can do feelings. I'm not afraid of them or anyone else's because I care. I just ask and expect open and honest communication. When working towards a good mental health state feels insurmountable, that is when communicating needs is even more important. It's sharing more of yourself with people who matter in your life. Things like boundaries, space, discomforts, likes, triggers, they all matter and it makes life easier when your partner is on the same page for what matters to you too. I feel like the song below is a good example of hearing this in action. (kind of kidding about the cancer thing but also maybe astrology has it figured out idk it's fun)
All the previous content still stands with the understanding that mental health is never an excuse to be a mean person. People around you don't have to accept disrespectful behavior regardless of the reason behind it. It's really the same side of the coin as above. I respect my time, energy, and mental space enough to know when someone is devaluing me, I don't need to prove to someone why they should. What's done is done already. While I'm not an expert or anything, masking unspeakable behavior behind mental health and trying to dictate a relationship on their terms alone is unkind regardless of reasoning. I Love You But I Love Me More - Marina, Beach Bunny
Music has been consistent, reliable, understanding when life felt unbelievably horrible this year. The world would be worse off without people who are willing to be vulnerable in art. Feelings are hard, situations are complicated, life is messy. Processing to me means letting myself feel what asks for my attention then letting go. Avoiding is ugly because it represses and neglects. Being attentive to yourself is beautiful because it cultivates and grows.
I make every effort to be a kind and understanding person, an active listener, all the good stuff. One of my long time favorite quotes is "Be kind - you never know what battles someone are fighting," or something like that. What I am not cool with is someone continually pushing how far that kindness extends. I am kind until you start taking advantage of this fact, I expect kindness and respect from others because I know I can reciprocate the same energy. But dismissing my efforts, time, energy showing how I care to then question my character to top it off is insulting and the perfect storm for receiving a different treatment from me. When I push back, I'm bringing everything I got, and I don't care to be gentle anymore. You had your chance speak kindly and show me that you can treat me with the same level of kindness I've been treating you. Nah. When it gets here, I've tried everything in my communication tool belt, I'm exhausted from trying to find some middle ground and being met with stone walls. Something turns the tide to ignite a flame - some last choice that is the final straw for me. Honestly, it's a super rare occurrence, but there is a threshold for what a kind person will tolerate. It's not that fun really because it feels out of character to react this way. Standing up for myself protects my mental health and builds character, so it is what is is.
I appreciate artists who do the hard work by letting us listen to their hearts in our ears. It makes connecting to our own feelings a bit easier in the best and the worst ways. There is honesty and empathy here. Something interesting I've been thinking about recently is how honesty without empathy is cruelty. While the truth may not be kind, not considering how it will be received is avoidance and uncaring. Just something I've been thinking about. I think I've said enough for now. and will leave with that. These are my favorite songs right now that are relevant in addition to the ones above. Favorite Crime makes me cry every time I listen to it without fail. Hope you found something meaningful here and maybe a cool new song to listen to. Bonus songs: adcedfu (angier) - gayle my sister - shaybo, jorja smith I can break your heart too - the aces mad - zolita butterflies - kailee morgue none of your concern - jhene aiko favorite crime - olivia rodrigo favorite crime - olivia rodrigoKnow that I loved you so bad
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Because this is my music blog, I will be as messy or emotional as I want to be, and this the healthy outlet I am trying to choose. You have been warned. This story expressed via music is not shiny or happy. Channeling pain through art is therapeutic which is why there are historically so many songs about love and heartbreak. Artists often say things better than we know the words for or didn't know we needed to hear. I don't feel ashamed, guilty, or embarrassed because I have experienced something painful. I know what I gave was genuine and loving. Receipts don't lie, and I can back it up. Ignoring any upset and hurt feelings because I want to seem unaffected or okay would be a facade. Avoiding complicated feelings will only make the healing process worse. I want to process and get through it as soon as possible. In order to get through it, I must grow through it. Here are great songs that hit a little too close during these hard times - Rock/Punk/Pop edition: Nine Months - Annie DiRusso The first thing you said the night we met is I was beautiful Pot & Kettle - The Sonder Bombs I wish jokes didn’t apply to me but now they do Dang. - The Childlike Empress Oh god I fell for it again $5 Subtweet - Pool Kids You remind me of Good 4 U - Olivia Rodrigo Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily I don't feel bad at all for laying it all out like this. You know what does make me feel bad? The awful things I tolerated because I wanted so badly for things to work things out together. It wasn't worth it in the end. I should've seen it when-
-The person I'm seeing goes on three trips with their ex while seeing me in the beginning, stated they didn't think about my reaction to these events, lied & hid about who was going on the trip, continued to include their ex in family vacations, and expected me to proceed like we were still cool. -I developed severe anxiety after they shared they had a romantic relationship with someone they worked with who I had to see, interact with regularly and who they still wanted to be friends with. I was supposed to be okay with that. In hindsight, at this point, I didn't trust them anymore. -We visited a store where I saw something that made me exuberantly excited and was expressing that feeling. Later they told me that my authentic expressive joy nearly gave them a panic attack. -Six months into seeing me - less than two weeks after asking me to formally be their girlfriend - they post an Instagram story stating they're still heartbroken over their previous ex, and when I ask them about it, they said they forgot to block me from seeing their story. -They couldn't verbally communicate their needs to me and expected me to read their mind and body language. There is so much more, this barely scratches the surface. Even after being treated like garbage, it still sucks to lose someone you had some good memories with. Too bad all the shitty things really didn't outweigh it. It adds flavor to the situation to see so many of the sweet things I did for them be recycled and used with the new girl. Maybe things will be better for them. Here are some more sad and spicy songs getting me through it: -Traitor: Olivia Rodrigo _ "Loved you at your worst But that didn't matter It took you two weeks To go off and date her" -Drunk Voicemail: Pom Pom Squad_"You always know how to make me sad" -Hide My Face: Acid Ghost _"When you're loving somebody You are simply delighting in that person as such" -Atom: The Sonder Bombs _"Well I'm sure you have a reason for all of your rage But that doesn't mean I have to like it" I rely on music to help heal from something painful. Every month, I make a new playlist to give myself motivation to explore new things and not get stuck in musical ruts. It's become something I look forward to every month. The playlist this month was 85 songs long, and I had it on repeat constantly. These songs are to remind myself to elevate my energy despite being sad and to keep pushing. They remind me who tf I am with a sprinkle of sad as acknowledgement that both feelings can exist in the same space. My top 21 breakup songs are to get over someone you know isn't good for you but are still sad about it anyways. I added powerful/favorite lines to catch the vibe. Maybe you'll find something you like here too. pov: they broke your heart but are grateful because you wouldn't have walked away pov: you did everything they asked, tried your best, and they still had someone else lined up pov: the only thing keeping you thinking about them is your anger at what you tolerated For me, I visualize music in energy levels: low, medium and high. The text color correlates to: high energy (throw ya hands up fighter) medium energy (bit upbeat, head bopper) low energy (chill, sad, relaxing) Enjoy --
Too Good - Ayoni (Cover) Don't play the victim when you're with me
There is something about hearing a woman scream in anger into a microphone that I love i.e. Happier Than Ever Edit. Too often women are told to placate others, be accommodating, put on a smile for others so nobody feels uncomfortable. We're like a social pillow for others, and I hate that. I love seeing and hearing women release anger (in healthy ways that doesn't harm anyone) and to be free. Release the compulsion to repress "negative" emotions. The nature of emotions aren't negative - they're a byproduct of a human experience. Recognize each one, own it, and release it. There is something satisfying listening to a song that channels everything you're feeling and commits to that 100% with passion. When I hear songs like this, it feels like fresh air after staying locked inside for too long.
Here are other really amazing songs I was listening to this month that didn't make it on the playlist but definitely deserve honorable mention: 2 You - Mariah The Scientist: "Should have left you last July but I was only tryna save us" this is how i learn to say no - emeline: "When I got healthy, did that make you hate me?" Mastermind - Zaniah: "And even when you said no words I Listened to your silent cries Cynical manipulation" Throw It Away - Summer Walker: "Actin' like this ain't mean nothin' to you, is you dumb?" Parking Lot - Genevieve Stokes: "Memories I swallowed to live without you" you broke me first - Tate McRae: "Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?" Bleeding - Ogranya: "I meant all the things I said to you I just wanna be there for you" Don't Bring Me Down - Electric Light Orchestra: "You got me runnin', goin' out of my mind" South Dakota - Jordy: "What a waste of time I spent" La Fama - Rosalia, The Weeknd: "Miles de cancione' en mi mente" Making this was very therapeutic for me. Hopefully you found something new and interesting to listen to. I leave you with this image by one of my favorite artists, Emma Atterbury. It's been stuck in my head for a hot minute. Writing about women in rap specifically has been a long time coming. Few things in music give me as much joy as hearing a woman rap. The confidence and energy behind their words relay such a powerful message to me. Anytime Megan Thee Stallion is interviewed and asked why she does what she does, her answer is about growing up listening to famous male rappers, hearing their words, and wondering what it would sound like if a woman talked like they do. That curiosity combined with talent and drive has given us the powerful women in rap today. Some will criticize their hypersexual lyrics or persona. I don't have a problem with it at all - in fact, I believe those people who make remarks like that really don't understand what's happening. The sexuality of women has been monitored, policed and restricted historically and relentlessly. Sexuality has been a tool to use against women to discredit their value and minimize the importance in the world. What I love is that these women are using their songs to recenter the narrative around women because - funnily enough - life does not revolve around a mans desires, even if the patriarchal society has been structured to seem so. This structure where men are the center means that music and art is made to appeal to the male gaze by majority. Hypersexualized women then fit into because of the male gaze. Therefore, I don't blame artists for doing what they do. I'm really here for it, I love it, and it looks fun. Little girls grow up in a world where their sexuality is shamed- a mystery, obscure, something to be controlled because it's dangerous. Seeing women be confident and accepting of who they are feels like a flip on that shameful narrative. It feels like acknowledgement that women are actual human people with goals and desires, not just decoration in a man's life to make a family. Rapping about sex and the feminine experience normalizes the whispered conversations that have been in the shadows for so long. Because of the intense restrictions put on women to be beautiful a certain way or act like someone else to be valued, I love and support a lot of women in rap today. I feel good when I listen to their music, so it makes me happy. If you don't know a lot of artists making their name today, this is a great introduction. If you already do, then great! I hope you see a favorite of yours or hear something new. P.S. Plenty of artists make songs that are not overtly sexy or anything in that realm. Maybe a post for a another day. Girls in the Hood - Megan Thee Stallion Fuck bein' good, I'm a bad bitch (ah) Bitch from Da Souf - Latto He know better than to fuck around, no bitch fucking with me Mobb'n - Kash Doll She beyond scared straight, I got her runnin' like a track meet Free Bia / 1st Day Out - BIA All these demons and no one to trust Pretty MF - Rubi Rose All my real bitches, put your middle fingers up These ladies are pretty well known so nothing super secret. Hope you enjoyed a little flavor of the day.
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. Every time I see or hear about another black life unfairly taken, I hear the words "We the people" echo in my head. They ring hollow as I see another name, another life become a hashtag. The hate and prejudice that built this white supremacist country needs to be rebuilt for present day reality. Death, fear and anxiety is the reality of so many black Americans today. While this country was founded on unspeakable horror and injustice, it has to do better. Every person has a part to play to Make America Greater than it ever was before. We The People have to put pressure on politicians to make legal changes on behalf of the people at risk every day. We The People have to demand offenders be brought to trial for their unjust, life-threatening actions. We The People need to take action to protect people we love and care about. Even more importantly, it's everyday actions that show consistent support. Defend their dignity, have courage to speak out when something is wrong, and listen when you don't need to speak. Change has to happen, for silence favors the oppressor. Black people deserve fair and equitable treatment. They deserve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in a country they built. End of discussion. Now is the time to speak up folks, especially white people. Too many innocent people have been accused of a crime they didn't commit and are dying for it. With that said, I asked myself what I could do to lend my voice to the cause. I wanted to do something, and the first thing my mind went to was music. If you've been listening, you'll know the pain and truth of the black experience in America is in the music. Countless stories woven in the lyrics. Here's to the revolution for The People of the United States. Together, we rise.
While I recognize my position as a guest in the community, I want to do what I can. This seemed like a good place to start - by elevating the voices who need to be heard. We just have to listen.
Some other more popular song selections: This is America (Childish Gambino), Lemonade (Beyonce), and so much more from hip hop legends (Dr. Dre, Nas, 2Pac). Have you ever listened to a song and was surprised to hear a voice recording as an introduction? Maybe someone was speaking to wrap up the song. I think of those as sound bytes, audio clips, any voice recording that adds further messaging and depth to the song. I love those. They can change the flow of a song and make the message more contextual. It's one of my favorite twists and spices an artist can do with a song or album. Using a sound byte is like adding cayenne pepper to a dish. The chef has to use a light hand with tasteful additions to make savory and delightful meals. Otherwise it's too much. With that being said, I wanted to share the most meaningful, interesting, and entertaining audio clips in songs that I adore. Let me know what you think over email, Instagram, or Facebook! Enjoy! Preludes The song starts with an audio clip to give the following words more context to the listener. These, among others, stand out the most to me. Be aware that each is not like the other and content with expletives do occur.
Middle of the Song Region Honorable Mention: That's How You Feel - Drake This video wasn't available on YouTube to provide but it is available on Spotify and Apple Music and other streaming platforms. It's some sassy wordplay Nicki freestyles at a live concert in London. I like the song quite a lot and didn't want to leave out on of my favorites. Her part is basically in the middle of the song and again towards the end as an outro. End of Song Commentaries I like these the most. I find myself enjoying the song and then when I get to the end, there is some messaging to elevate whatever you took from their words. These clips are my absolute favorites. The videos will play a little before the audio clip starts so you can hear it directly. However, listening to the entire song through is always a good idea if you want the full effect.
If you enjoyed listening to these clips, I highly recommend checking out the albums these songs are on. It seems to me that when an artist features one audio clip, more usually follow in the album.
Thanks for checking this out. I really appreciate it. Let me know if you have any suggestions for future things you'd like to see, thoughts, or anything else. Have a wonderful day! Originally, this was going to be something related to life after graduation. With corona virus going on and everybody learning from home, I wanted to do a collection of motivating songs about school to get through it. It's something I've been collecting over the years, and now seems like a great time to share that. Music has a strong influence over my productivity and flow. It really depends on the mood. Either way, at the end of the day, the work still has to get done. My personal favorite on the list is "I Can" by Nas. It's powerful, resonating, and always applicable. I feel it gets better with age too. Maybe you find something interesting here, even if it's just for fun. Proud of U - EarthGang feat. Young Thug I'm proud of you Dreams - Solange I grew up a little girl with I Can - Nas I know I can NCAA - 2 Chainz NCAA, yeah, we the young and dangerous, yeah Bigger - Beyonce If you feel insignificant, you better think again More - Mereba Freedom to fight more Good luck on the studies, work, and general wellness. You can do this. Have a beautiful day. Thanks for reading.
2019 was the end of an exciting decade for music. Here are some of the album highlights which I found particularly favorable. Over It - Summer Walker
Ni**as be insecure Anti - Rihanna
Don't get it twisted Channel Orange - Frank Ocean
We'll run to the future, shining like diamonds Lemonade - Beyoncé
Platinum Fire - Arin Ray
Say what's on your mind so I get the message (Uh) Pink Friday - Nicki Minaj
All these bitches is my sons Whack World - Tierra Whack
Worry 'bout yourself and don't worry about nobody Fever - Megan Thee Stallion
I keep it realer than real P3 - PartyNextDoor
How hard is it to let you know when I'm coming home Hozier - Hozier
When my time comes around Thank you for visiting - Happy New year - Enjoy!
Mother's Day is about celebrating the women in our lives, and what better way than to celebrate the women working their dual roles as mother and artist? There are many women in the industry working and thriving with families. When you're doing what you're passionate about, it may make the extra effort worthwhile. Here's to great music and multi-talented mothers! Kehlani Kehlani recently became a mother (at the time of writing this). She seems very excited to share her new joy and love with the world! Her Instagram captions talk about the love and happiness the birth of her child has brought her. "Did I" is one of the earlier songs in her career, one that gained her notoriety. It's full of sass and pizazz. Teyana Taylor This woman is phenomenal. She is an actress in addition to being a singer and dancer. Her appearances in "Honey" and "The After Party" are roles demonstrating her skills as dancer. Iman Shumpert (basketball player) and her started a family and have been married since 2016. The music she makes carries a soulful vibe with confident vocals. Cardi B Many people know about Cardi B and her personality. She is married to the rapper - Offset - who is a part of the supergroup "Migos". Because she is a busy woman, it seems her daughter travels often with her to different locations around the world. It's a balance. T-Pain remixed this hit, and it's amazing. I love listening to it more than the original. Jhene Aiko Jhene Aiko has a calming tone about her music that is both soothing and uplifting. She doesn't share much about her daughter, but living in the limelight can make people want to retain their privacy. The songs she releases continues to establish herself as a top artist for pop, r&b, and hip-hop. Rico Nasty She's a rapper! She's an powerful! She's an icon! Motherhood doesn't often come up in her music, but once in a while, a bar will show up with a reference to her experiences. Her powerful lyrics will convince anyone she is around to make a statement and leave an impression. Beyonce Knowles-Carter If someone doesn't know who Beyonce is at this point in time, I have to think they really don't have access to internet. As one of the biggest artists in the world during this moment in time, she is a legend. She is a mother to three children with Jay-Z. Recently. Netflix released a documentary recording her iconic Coachella performance alongside live performance recordings of the musical event. She has remixed her own music to recreate a new experience with already familiar content. Her artistic talent is unparalleled. Valentine's Day brings out the best R&B music. The following are some smooth vibes to relax to. In love or not, most everyone can appreciate a quality, sensuous song. Valentine's Day can be about romantic love, but also it should be about friendship love and familial love. There are so many different types of love in the world that it seems shallow to make a holiday only about romantic love when there is so much more. With this concept in mind, I present an array of romantic love songs and more. There were three songs that I had in mind that I wanted to share, sort of as inspiration for this post. Not too long ago, Ari Lennox with J.Cole released the song called Shea Butter Baby. Just this past week, they released the music video for it illustrating a deep and complicated love. Another song recently released was Quin and 6lack's song called Mushroom Chocolate speaking on intimacy over lower vibrations. The last song I had in mind for this post was YNW Melly's 772 Love. He is rapper, but the beat is very catchy and sweet. I have been playing it nonstop these past few weeks. These songs bring me a lot of joy, and I hope it does for you. Shea Butter Baby - Ari Lennox ft. J.Cole The visual for the song is absolutely stunning, as a side note from the content of the track. I love the warm sensuality and layers of perspective within each person. Even more, I appreciate the male love interest's character how he is masculine and sensual without being dramatic or crass. The video emphasizes the portrayal of everyday love. Her voice reflects confidence as she sings, speaking with authority and knowledge. This song may be about moving forward onto something better, and reflecting back on those that have caused you pain. Or, as I take it, the song is about a complicated love. Neither options are exclusive to each other, and that is art. Who Hurt You? - Daniel Caesar Daniel Caesar is the current king of sensual love songs. He not only has released "Get You" which became the song that promoted him into the limelight, but a whole slew of tracks with similar vibes accenting intimacy. His voice relaxes the listener, easing into the song with a casual grace. The warmth in the lyrics and the tone is the centerpiece. 772 Love - YNW Melly My recommendation for this song is to listen to it the first time around as just audio and no video. Without the visual stimulation of what the artist wanted you to see, you can assess the song solely on your opinions. The unique process of judging whether you rock with the song or not is special because it's based from our individual views and experiences. Judging the value of a song should be a special process because impressions of a song last forever. What I realized I appreciate most about this song is the flow. I listen to this song in the present moment, meaning that I don't expect or anticipate a story line to tell me what is going to happen next. This song is meant to make you feel a certain way in a simple way. Sometimes meanings don't have to be deep. I like to remember that simplicity is okay sometimes, and life doesn't need to be harder than you make it. Real Games - Lucky Daye The funkiness Lucky Daye presents here is infectious, and a person cannot help but to groove to the rhythm. I appreciate the sass and affection as well. He has a Bruno Mars flair which is likely why his music comes off as so fun and rhythmic, because of their similar styles. Mushroom Chocolate - QUIN ft. 6lack The brand new release by Quin and 6lack is a Valentine's Day jam. The two match each other in tonal quality, lyrics, and attitude. It seems the story they are presenting is lowkey but passionate. They both speak about finding someone that speaks your language and is good for each other. Roses - Arin Ray Arin Ray is one of my absolute favorites. He is incredible with amazing songs and endless talent. This song was released around Valentine's Day to celebrate the holiday. It contributes to the R&B branding he has been serving us. "Roses" is a nice song to relax to, cook dinner to, dance in the morning to, all of it. Stand Still - ZAYN This song may be pop, but I'm convinced it is R&B. It has smooth vocals, a flowing bass foundation, and the lyrics are about humanity's favorite topic: love. What I find most interesting about this song is the eerie quality. It makes me think perhaps he is singing about a distant affection. His words trigger something in the heart that makes a person ache for more. You - Jacquees Jacquees offers a serious rivalry to Daniel Caesar for the biggest influence of R&B in within the last few years. This man has consistently been releasing amazing songs of high quality and importance. "You" continues that legacy with intriguing beat patterns and expressing the complicated aspects of relationships. The water drop sound layered in the beat is the most fun feature of the song. Again, I would recommend listening to the song first without the visual so you can judge on sound content alone, and not the content of the video.
Hopefully one of these song brought you happiness. Sending love to those who need a lil extra right now. |
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